Saturday, July 08, 2006
Danny's belated birthday gathering!
You know, I realise when I get angry at someone/something, and I say it out, vent it out or express how I feel about it, I always did something that make the other person even angrier than I was angry at that person. In the end, everything seems to be my fault again. And the vicious cycle always happens.
I think I shan't do that anymore. There's no need for people to get even angrier. Or perhaps they would too.
Things happen and sometimes I really don't know what to say. I'm trying, in my own ways perhaps, to be nice to others, but others either don't feel it, or choose to ignore it. It's ok really. I understand. And as time goes by I've gotten used to it, and perhaps others too.
Please don't invite me to certain gatherings when you personally don't want me to be there. I know it's polite to just inform me. But at the very last minute where you know I can't make it? And even before I answer, you answered it for me, subconciously. Even if I knew earlier, I might not go because I know that if I went, it will be an awkward situation and I would disrupt the whole catching-up thing. Nobody will enjoy anything at all. What's the point? Furthermore I don't think I'm significant and you guys will still enjoy it no matter what.
And no empty promises please. I know I will just get even more disappointed. It just make all seems even more superficial than ever. You don't have to hide your dislike/discrimination for me, because no matter how, I can still feel it.
But the surprising thing is, I'm taking this even more calmly than I expect to be. Maybe I'm numb by it after so long, getting hurt all the time when I sees something I shouldn't. Maybe you will too.
And more likely than not, you might react strongly to it, dislike me even more, or who knows what. I know it might very sad/cruel to think that way, but that's how I really feel.
This is my blog and I choose to write what I wishes to write. If it displeases you in anyway, you can just stop reading it, like what I did too.
What can I say more? I know no matter how hard we try, it will be impossible to be like before. Too much has happened. My secondary school life was perfect, until this issue came. And it ruins all the good memories, sad to say.
I apologise for my part, for saying such things when I'm angry or upset. Everyone says hurting things when they feel like that. Dont you too? And now I find this as the only tool of communication, so I hope you could understand.
****************************************
Shit! That really dampens everything ya?
But before that...
I think I shan't do that anymore. There's no need for people to get even angrier. Or perhaps they would too.
Things happen and sometimes I really don't know what to say. I'm trying, in my own ways perhaps, to be nice to others, but others either don't feel it, or choose to ignore it. It's ok really. I understand. And as time goes by I've gotten used to it, and perhaps others too.
Please don't invite me to certain gatherings when you personally don't want me to be there. I know it's polite to just inform me. But at the very last minute where you know I can't make it? And even before I answer, you answered it for me, subconciously. Even if I knew earlier, I might not go because I know that if I went, it will be an awkward situation and I would disrupt the whole catching-up thing. Nobody will enjoy anything at all. What's the point? Furthermore I don't think I'm significant and you guys will still enjoy it no matter what.
And no empty promises please. I know I will just get even more disappointed. It just make all seems even more superficial than ever. You don't have to hide your dislike/discrimination for me, because no matter how, I can still feel it.
But the surprising thing is, I'm taking this even more calmly than I expect to be. Maybe I'm numb by it after so long, getting hurt all the time when I sees something I shouldn't. Maybe you will too.
And more likely than not, you might react strongly to it, dislike me even more, or who knows what. I know it might very sad/cruel to think that way, but that's how I really feel.
This is my blog and I choose to write what I wishes to write. If it displeases you in anyway, you can just stop reading it, like what I did too.
What can I say more? I know no matter how hard we try, it will be impossible to be like before. Too much has happened. My secondary school life was perfect, until this issue came. And it ruins all the good memories, sad to say.
I apologise for my part, for saying such things when I'm angry or upset. Everyone says hurting things when they feel like that. Dont you too? And now I find this as the only tool of communication, so I hope you could understand.
****************************************
Shit! That really dampens everything ya?
But before that...
Pictures we took at Changing Appetites. Went to celebrate Danny's belated birthday, but it was more of a meet up after all. And it simply feels great that the 4 of us can just talk about anything so easily. =)
And another thing, guys are so sickening when it comes to photo-taking. Can't they be more spontaneous? Lolx.
[PS: Did you catch Ghost Whisperer? It's a fab show! Touching all that. And I realise that the nicest words one says are his last words.]
this heart of mine confessed at 7/08/2006 12:00:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart