Tuesday, January 17, 2006
A depressing thought which I wish I can forget
Recently alot of people around me kept psycho-ing me to go to JC. I'm really irritated by that seriously. I don't mind advices, but I seriously don't want single-sided advices. It makes me even more frustrated.
Don't keep telling me that Poly is not going to be easy and it's difficult to get into a Uni that kind of stuffs. Nothing is easy in the world. Even if you're in JC it's not confirm that you can make it to the Uni as well. I think it all comes back to a square one, just that you are using different approaches to deal with the thing.
Somehow, I'm really unsecure. Yep, I guess I've been floating too much. I used to have something to keep me from floating away, but it's all gone. Now i'm alone. I have to deal with it myself. And I hate that.
Yea, maybe I'm not who I used to be, or maybe that's what most people think. Deep down I still want to be who I used to be. I don't like who I am now seriously. I'm just being me who's afraid. Afraid of mental obstacles and stuffs like that.
I don't dare to believe anymore, because I always got disappointed after that. I cant take it anymore.
Hmm I know I shouldn't be always blogging about depressing stuffs, because nobody loves to read depressing stuffs. And few months, or years later when I read this post again, it'll be depressing me too. But hmm...can't help it.
Ok, back to Poly and JC stuffs. Somehow I wish my conscious can really talk to me in person and tell me what I really want. Cause most of the time my brain was influenced by others, and I once made a wrong decision because of that.
I think I will only listen to myself now. I'm walking my own path. Why must I let others hinder my decision? In the meantime, me myself and I have to stay optimistic and open. I know I'm a failure in many areas, but I just got to try harder.
Don't keep telling me that Poly is not going to be easy and it's difficult to get into a Uni that kind of stuffs. Nothing is easy in the world. Even if you're in JC it's not confirm that you can make it to the Uni as well. I think it all comes back to a square one, just that you are using different approaches to deal with the thing.
Somehow, I'm really unsecure. Yep, I guess I've been floating too much. I used to have something to keep me from floating away, but it's all gone. Now i'm alone. I have to deal with it myself. And I hate that.
Yea, maybe I'm not who I used to be, or maybe that's what most people think. Deep down I still want to be who I used to be. I don't like who I am now seriously. I'm just being me who's afraid. Afraid of mental obstacles and stuffs like that.
I don't dare to believe anymore, because I always got disappointed after that. I cant take it anymore.
Hmm I know I shouldn't be always blogging about depressing stuffs, because nobody loves to read depressing stuffs. And few months, or years later when I read this post again, it'll be depressing me too. But hmm...can't help it.
Ok, back to Poly and JC stuffs. Somehow I wish my conscious can really talk to me in person and tell me what I really want. Cause most of the time my brain was influenced by others, and I once made a wrong decision because of that.
I think I will only listen to myself now. I'm walking my own path. Why must I let others hinder my decision? In the meantime, me myself and I have to stay optimistic and open. I know I'm a failure in many areas, but I just got to try harder.
this heart of mine confessed at 1/17/2006 10:42:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart